All across the vast frozen tundras and bundled-up cities of Canada, the nation’s entire population is gaining a new appreciation for artistic values and aesthetic interpretation, a trend being dictated entirely by the National Hockey League strike. 

           While most Canadians receive a relatively decent education, this intellectual stimulation is effectively counter-balanced by the constant unyielding universal emphasis on professional hockey, widely known to be among the most mind-numbing and needlessly violent of all sports or national passions. As such, this never-ending hockey focus prevented any sort of cultural growth in Canadians, and they’ve lived almost entirely without any beneficial artistic influences or inspiration until this current hockey strike, which has allowed them to finally remove the dark glasses of fore checking and 5-holes.

           Museums and musical performances have experienced record high attendance during the past few months, including the Banff National Canadian Art and Maple Syrup Museum, which has seen thousands of recent visitors, compared to last year's total of twelve. Outside a sold-out Toronto Symphony Orchestra performance a few days ago, throngs of Canadians had to be physically restrained after trying to rush the gates, though the concert eventually went by smoothly.

           Seth Halbertom, who flew in from Halifax to catch the show, said as it let out, “I’m really thrilled to have recently discovered that there exists such fine music in the world, ya know?  Before The Great Blackness, [Ed. Note: this is the Canadian term for the hockey strike] I only knew of the music they played at the games, like "It Takes Two" by Rob Bass and that techno song where everybody goes ‘Hoooo!’ Now it’s like, there’s all these instruments playing at the same time and guys in suits and stuff. You know, I don’t really know what’s going on but I know I like it!”

           As there appears to be no end in sight to the hockey lockout, it’s likely that for the time being the Canadian national interest in art and culture in general will continue to flourish. When the players do strap the skates back on and the bodies do start flying again, experts expect the trend to wane and Canadians will again turn 100% of their focus to NHL hockey action. 

           Gail Crimis, a noted Winnipeg community activist, seemingly summed up the feeling of the entire country while painting a mural of some birds in silent protest outside a darkened hockey arena.

           “All these new ideas and perspectives are great and all, but I really look forward to the time in the future when we can tell our grandkids, between periods of course, about our brush with art and intellectualism, and what a crazy time it was,” she said.