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Episode 9 Recap
On the beach in the Pearl Island, Ryno, who doesn’t resemble a Rhino at all, but oh, Trevor will get over that, realized that his days were numbered. With Andrew recently voted out (please see: every other semi-athletic man on losing tribe who gets voted out the second tribes merge – I know – life TOTALLY sucks, Andrew!), Ryan is left all alone with nobody to talk to. Hey Ryan, ever thought about talking to Taliqua? I know she’s black, but come on! Let’s be decent! Taliqua, girl, you are in prime spot in this game. You have both sides digging you, no votes against you, and you’ve got enough skin on that skeleton to keep your engine greasing up and out. Wait, is your name Taliqua or something else? I mean, really, besides you, who cares? Oh, I guess your family does, too. Realizing his ass was about to be cut like Trevor’s lips on a can of tuna about 10 minutes ago, Ryan set out to form new alliances. He did this so he can further his chances of winning the game. Nobody wanted to help him, though, and frankly, I don’t want to write about him anymore. Ha! Meanwhile, Burton was back in town flexing those muscles and showing the crowd that he could catch food too! He could provide just like mighty Rupert! So what does this shit head do? He catches a sting ray! And what does everyone do? They touch the sting ray. Trevor is over thinking, “Did they really just do that?” Newsflash to me, they did. Shit, they did? Dang, I don’t ever curse! What’s up with the Reward Challenge?!? Read Trevor’s Lips: No more slingshot challenges! Give me a freaking break! No, not breaking discs with slingshots, a break from watching that! Sheesh! Man, I don’t feel good! Woo! Later that day, or maybe another day entirely, Trevor can’t really tell, Sandra and Christa were bathing together in the ocean. Oh, and for all of you who rely on Trevor to paint the picture for you guys, this picture wasn’t very pretty at all. It wouldn’t even get a frame if it was in Trevor’s room.
I’m on fire! Rupert wins immunity again with some lame trivia challenge and the tribes oust Ryan who knew he was going to go anyway. All in all, this was probably the least-exciting episode of all time! My stomach really hurts! P.S. Trevor is very drunk right now, bitch!
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Get Ready for the latest Survivor, Surviving Cancer
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A late night for Trevor equals an early morning cuddled
next to my TV/VCR combination waiting to see the dreaded results of my
favorite television show Survivor! What did you do last Thursday
night? Oh, let me guess, something very fun? Ha, get over it, already.
Sir, may I VIVE? 
