Survivor: The before, the now, and the next week
By TV Expert, Trevor
 

     It’s been a while since we’ve talked. I haven’t been able to write down a single word on Survivor and I haven’t even had much time to watch the shows themselves. I’ve been swearing left and right and just straight up yelling out curse words because I’m ticked. I’m ticked at everyone involved with Survivor: I’m ticked with the cast, producers, crew, everyone. Most of all, I’m ticked off with you, Jeff Probst.

     Jeff Probst, do you even know how to freaking host a show anymore? You’ve been doing this for years now, Jeff, maybe you’re getting a little too comfortable. And I know you’re reading this right now and I know what you’re thinking. However, I’m not going to get into what you’re thinking. I’m going to get in your head, Jeff. I’m going to burn you a new a-hole while I’m at it. How do you think that will feel?

    It won't sting nearly as much as I sting.

    Who decided to let those outcasts back in the game? Was it you, Jeff? I’m so utterly disgusted by this game that I don’t even want to get into this report (but I will). I’m very tempted to straight up get into another TV series (which I did).

     Let me get this straight:

     After stinking it up in every episode possible, these castaways are allowed back on the show? Jeff assured us that all six of the "outcasts" had been living under similar circumstances as the players still in the game, but give me a break...
       
     Speaking of break, what's up with Osten? For a black man, he sure didn't say anything funny or do anything cool. All he did was quit. Osten, give the power back to the people, then get back to me. Oh, and thanks for making me look like a f'ing moron! Thanks to you, my Golden Four has taken a serious blow. Oh! That reminds me!

     A Look at the Golden Four:

     Trevor won't be the first to admit that I'm not perfect. But at the halfway point of the show, my golden four is at 50%!

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