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Gammy Fritz
Gammy Fritz is the oldest semi-living Studio
8 character. From her dank, depressing retirement home bed, she will
continue putting all of her senile, barely coherent thoughts into her precious
feces-covered diary for you to enjoy. We may be able to force her into doing
other things like AOL convos, so watch out and, please, hug a random old person
today.
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Favorite Way to Pass Time: |
Just staring at the
wall and soiling some furniture.
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Favorite Game to Play with Friends: |
Just staring at the
wall and soiling some furniture.
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Least Favorite Thing to be Accused of Doing: |
Just staring at the
wall and soiling some furniture.
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Least Favorite Memory from Last Christmas: |
Just staring at the
wall and soiling some furniture.
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I’d Rather Die Than Get Sick and Die!
(THE DEATH OF GAMMY FRITZ)
Entry 14 - Journal, I know I’ve
known you for a long time, but I think it’s time that you got to
know a new me. A new Gammy. You looked confused, journal, so let me
explain something.
continue...
All This Driving is Driving Me Crazy!
Entry 13 - That dreadful friend of mine, Mabel,
is at it again, dear journal! She keeps insisting that the two of us escape
from the nurses and take a trip into the mountain to have picnics with
handsome young men, and I keep telling her that no, I have better things to
do with my day!
continue...
Have You Hugged
Me Today?
Entry 12 - I
used to always say that no matter what your age is and no matter
whether you were a woman or not, a woman needs to be hugged at least
once a day. I still say this saying from time to time, even when I'm
all alone and there's no one around to hug my delicately-framed
framely body.
continue...
Doilies, Doilies Everywhere!
Entry
11
- In
this teensy box of a shell that the nurses refer to as my “room,” I find it
hard to be happy sometimes. Whenever this happens, I can find some tad of
gladness in one of the many doilies that I have lying around my “room.”
continue...
Never Take Your Eyes Off the Breakfast!
Entry 10
- Oh, journal, I hate to be the
one who has to bring such dreadful news to you on a daily basis, but it is
something I like to do, so I will have to tell you this right away before I
forget about it: The toast is trying to waffle the pancakes again.
continue...
It’s a Pretty Day for
Being Pretty
Entry 9
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Dearest of diaries, today I saw
myself in the looking-glass and I thought, ‘Well don’t I just look
like the prettiest of pretty little pennies today!’ And speaking of
pretty, I think I’m going to find a cameraman to take a photograph of
myself so I can “put it for a pretty” on my mantelpiece.
continue...
Is Everyone Eating Enough?
Entry 8 -
One of my favorite things in the world is making sure all of my
friends and neighbors have enough to eat. I do this by going around the table
and looking at everyone's plates. If the plates look like they need more food,
I tell the others that I will try to get more food for them. That's when I
take their plates, clean them off in the trash basket, and then tell the
colored cooks to fill the plate up again.
continue...
BIN-GO Away!
Entry 7
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I know in my last journal entry, I wrote about the beautiful and magical game
of BINGO and how much I enjoy it and it enjoys me. But in this diary entry,
loyal journal, there is a touch of sadness because those awful nurses are at
it again by not allowing me to play BINGO anymore.
continue...
Bingo Time!
Entry 6
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What a delightful little game I've discovered
since I was sentenced to die in this miserable nurse-filled hell-house! The
game itself is called BINGO and we get to play it every single night and every
single morning and it could just make me sing a dandy tune!
continue...
Tootsies!
Entry 5
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In this, my trusted journal, I will confess
something very private to me. I’m scared of Tootsies. Not the
Tootsie candies that tend to stick to one’s teeth like some sort
of sweet brown tooth glue. I’m talking about the brown-furred Tootsies
that come from the dreadful Land of Evermore.
continue...
Gammy's Silly Songs!
Entry 4
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I’ve got a such silly song stuck in my head this
morning. It goes something like this:
The billy-goat prances in the sun.
He can’t find his way or his gun.
What happened to his baby son?
Why he shot him just for fun!
continue...
Mad Hatties Club
Entry 3
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Today those dastardly nurses are making me miss
out on my favorite yearly friendship event, the Grand Mad Hatties’ Society
Luncheon. Hundreds of my close personal lady friends will be wondering
where I am and what hat I am wearing and all sorts of other things that they
don’t know about me.
continue...
Kids Are Stupid
Entry 2 -
What’s wrong with today’s kids? If they
aren’t walking down the street, they’re sitting around whistling! ‘And
just what’s so darn bad about whittling,’ you ask. How about the fact that
with all those youngsters whispering, I can’t hear myself think! And if
they would only take a minute and stop their whisking, I might be able to cook
them up something real nice and healthy for the road.
continue...
Gammy's First Last Entry
Entry 1 -
I regret to inform everyone that this shall be my final diary entry. The
nurses have discovered where I hide my wonderful journal and they threaten to
take it away from me if I throw another tantrum over my blessed bedpan.
continue...
Gammy's First AOL Victim
Gammy asks a young man for help who quickly loses patience with her.
continue...
This Character written
by
Brock.
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