|
What Will My
Son-of-a-Bitch Father Think Up Next? You would not believe how my son-of-a-bitch daddy is trying to ruin my life now! Every time I start to get comfortable and almost forget that he is the man who knocked up my bitch of a mother twenty-four years ago, he has to go and do something that makes me want to cut my wrists and make him pay for an expensive ambulance trip/emergency room visit again. So here’s the latest shit that is coming out of my daddy’s twisted little brain. He actually had the balls to call me tonight and say that from now on, and I quote, “I have to stop buying so many goddamned expensive outfits with his credit cards.” Um, excuse me? What does he expect me to do – not look good when I go out at night? I dropped all of my classes this semester for a reason and that is because I can’t go out and go to class at the same time. So not having class this semester cuts the number of outfits I need to wear in half, but that useless old prick doesn’t understand that. He just wants to yell about sending me to college when I don’t even go to class. I tell him I’ll make it up in the summer like I almost did last summer, but he doesn’t believe me. Yeah, he doesn’t trust his own flesh and blood. Heartless bastard. On top of all this, the worthless piece of shit said that I can only use his gas card no more than ten times every month! What the fuck am I supposed to do if I run out of juniper berry-flavored cigarettes? Or what if me and all my girlfriends have to get some late-night donuts when we’re through clubbing and nobody else feels like pulling out their own gas cards?
If my daddy lived one day in my shitty life, he might understand all of the stress and mental anguish that I have to deal with all the damn time. It’s his fault I have to buy weed from that greasy Eduardo guy almost every goddamn night. Before Daddy hung up, he brought up all that old shit that happened a few months ago when I signed up for eight credit cards at once and maxed them all out in four hours. I know, big deal, right? I’ll pay them off when I’m in Hollywood, making movies that I bet Daddy won’t even see because he hates me so much. When I told him this, you would not believe what that fucking ugly drunk dickhead said to me - he said I should get a job! Then he launched into this huge boring lecture about being responsible and doing something worthwhile and “not dreaming and pretending to be a movie star,” but all I could think was, Oh my god! My life is so ruined and I hate my father! I’ve been able to live my whole life without having to work at Burger King or waiting tables and I’m not about to start now. He says I’m scared to “get my hands dirty.” Well my son-of-a-bitch Daddy, if you want me to get my hands dirty, I will do just that. I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you get the bill for the liposuction, tit job, and lip extensions I’m getting next week. And I hope you’re ready to pay for another abortion, too. Now whose life is ruined? |
|
|||
|
||||
-
Get to
Know a Crazy and Wild Sorority Girl
| ||||
