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Skeleton Man Solves Another Case Skeleton Man has done it again. Last Tuesday, he searched for clues and successfully located the missing bird food warehouse that has been missing for weeks.
Skeleton Man, born half man and half skeleton, has been secretly fighting crime for years now. Shunned by society because of his freakish appearance, Skeleton Man found pleasure in donating expired coupons to the homeless. Soon, he believed that he held an awesome power within his bony frame. He began solving cases like a madman, eventually solving the largest case of his life on Tuesday. "It was nothing," Skeleton Man said right after he pulled back the large tarp that had been covering the bird food warehouse. "I would do that for anybody. Oh, I'm going to kill somebody now!"
The tragic flaw of Skeleton Man is that his misshapen bone structure causes his mind to be terribly unstable, so that he is prone to frequent, violent outbursts with little or no warning. So far, thirteen people have been brutally slaughtered by the gentle and humble Skeleton Man. After emitting a mournful, ear-piercing scream and bashing his fists into all nearby objects, Skeleton Man then caused major property damage to the bird food warehouse and had to be escorted from the premises by police. As he was beaten and thrown into a police cruiser, Skeleton Man yelled, "I'm half skeleton, half man! It's coming! The apocalypse for those who are either full skeletons or full men! You'll see!"
Minutes later, he collapsed in tears and changed his tone, "I'm sorry! I want
to help you! If you have a case that needs to be solved, call me!" |
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Reporter Clark Kent Has
Multiple Personality Disorder: Takes
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