<Editor's Note: We have no Pac-Man thing.>

BlockerMelon34: I like everything about the site really, but I love the AIM chats and articles.
BlockerMelon34: I love writing random things for no reason.
BnBRool: I love them, too.
BnBRool: Well, we have very good reasons for writing, son.
BnBRool: To make people laugh.
BlockerMelon34: That's my sole purpose, I like making people happy.
BnBRool: Though sometimes it's to make them giggle.
BnBRool: What can you do?
BlockerMelon34: Hmmm.... well I can write, and I can do computer art reasonably well. ^_^;
BlockerMelon34: And I'm dedicated to what I do.
BnBRool: I see that you are familiar with constructing emoticons.
BnBRool: Very impressive.
BnBRool: Can you make an emoticon for me that can express that I am smiling?
BlockerMelon34: Hmmm...
BlockerMelon34: Well do you like classic, or more animeish?
BnBRool: I like "within the next 5 seconds" style
BlockerMelon34: Hmm....
BlockerMelon34: Well n_n
BnBRool: Now you are thinking bigger thoughts.
BnBRool: That's fairly decent.
BlockerMelon34: Ahh. Path to true enlightenment.
BnBRool: I can't afford to pay you for that.
BnBRool: Your graphic design.
BlockerMelon34: I don't want to be paid. I just want to entertain people.
BnBRool: Why haven't you started up your own website?
BnBRool: Why must you piggyback on ours?
BnBRool: Or are you another one of those darn Onion writers trying to sneak into our offices?
BlockerMelon34: Well, I don't know HTML, and there's no one that will help me.
BlockerMelon34: LOL, Onion writers.
BnBRool: I've had it up to here with you damn Onion retards!
BnBRool: Leave us alone!
BnBRool: We won't sell!
BlockerMelon34: I'm not an Onion! *ducks and covers*
BnBRool: Lars...
BnBRool: How old are you?
BnBRool: Are you a child?
BlockerMelon34: I'm going to be honest. I'm 14.
BnBRool: I can't stand children.
BlockerMelon34: But I'm not like the others.
BnBRool: I prefer honesty to lying...most of the time.
BnBRool: Except when it comes to me being honest.
BnBRool: You aren't going through puberty?
BnBRool: You aren't interested in poopoo jokes?
BlockerMelon34: No. Poopoo jokes =.......just.....bad.
BnBRool: You aren't all dirty and filled with hormones?
BlockerMelon34: Nope.
BlockerMelon34: I'm clean.
BnBRool: Well, Studio 8 is very interested in poopoo jokes.
BlockerMelon34: It really depends on the type.
BnBRool: And I want a staff who can write the finest and worst poopoo jokes imaginable.
BlockerMelon34: I can do whatever my possible team would need.
BnBRool: Well, it can't be like this: Knock, knock. Who's there? A terd. A terd who? A terd in your mouth, idiot!
BnBRool: That type of joke won't last long around here.
BlockerMelon34: That would never be like anything I'd write.
BnBRool: So...
BnBRool: Prove yourself.
BlockerMelon34: I would fall on a rusty nail if I ever wrote that.
BnBRool: I don't want to hear about your impoverished living conditions.
BnBRool: Nor your twisted sado-masochistic tendencies.
BnBRool: I just want some poopoo jokes and I want them fresh and I want them now.
BlockerMelon34: Hmmm....
BlockerMelon34: Hmmm..... * deep in thought *
BnBRool: I fear that you have bitten off more than you can chew.
BnBRool: I too was once 14.
BnBRool: I was also 13.
BnBRool: And so on and so forth.
BlockerMelon34: And 12.
BnBRool: I don't need a math lesson.
BlockerMelon34: No you do not.
BnBRool: Nor do I need a child to feed.
BnBRool: So what can you do to feed yourself?
BnBRool: I can't pay tuition for your fancy schooling.
BnBRool: I'm not even legally allowed to hire you.
BnBRool: Child labor laws and such.
BnBRool: I can't afford the latest fashion crazes for your ridiculous wardrobe needs.
BlockerMelon34: ^^; Well yes, but technically, newest labor laws here at least state that the minimum age for working in non-manufacturing and cooking jobs is 14.
BlockerMelon34: Plus, I'm volunteering, not asking for a paying job.
BnBRool: Have you ever written anything before?
BlockerMelon34: I just want to make people happy, and laugh. That's my dream.
BnBRool: Your dreams are filled with evil.
BnBRool: Never trust your dreams, especially when you aren't really a sane person who lives in a dream world.
BnBRool: Free advice!
BlockerMelon34: Yay!
BnBRool: Stop changing the subject.
BlockerMelon34: But, truly, the only way to see what I can do is to see further into the rabbit hole, is it not?
BnBRool: I'm not a man of nature.
BnBRool: And I am not a "redneck".
BnBRool: So you'll have to rephrase yourself.
BlockerMelon34: Hmmm....
BnBRool: My, you are a thoughtful fellow...
BlockerMelon34: I think a lot.
BlockerMelon34: I have a lot of time to reflect.
BnBRool: Because you are an unemployed leech of society.
BlockerMelon34: Trust me, I search actively for employment.
BnBRool: I have a brilliant question for you to answer.
BlockerMelon34: Yes?
BnBRool: Did a federal judge sentence you to seek out volunteer work on an established comedy website?
BlockerMelon34: No. No he did not.
BnBRool: He?
BnBRool: So there was a judge!
BlockerMelon34: Darn. You caught me.
BnBRool: Your tongue betrays you.
BnBRool: Or rather, your fingers.
BlockerMelon34: Indeed. I am not typing...with my tongue.
BnBRool: I will give you this morsel of praise: You have delicious punctuation habits.
BlockerMelon34: Praise taken graciously.
BnBRool: And your spelling...it's the cleanest I've seen since that spelling bee I officiated over last winter.
BnBRool: I was also a contestant, by the way.
BlockerMelon34: I happened to be in a Spelling Bee last Winter.
BnBRool: And at the risk of bragging, I must tell you that I came VERY close to winning.
BnBRool: But I gave myself a word that I had never seen before.
BnBRool: The word was "Clibbertaskins".
BnBRool: Though that is not how you spell it.
BnBRool: I've never quite figured it out.
BnBRool: I have lost you, young child.
BnBRool: Come back to the conversation.
BnBRool: Get your head out of your video puzzles and girly moving pictures.
BlockerMelon34: Terribly sorry. My computer crashed.
BnBRool: You teenagers and your bumble-headed stories...
BnBRool: I was once 14, you know.
BlockerMelon34: Indeed you were.
BnBRool: I was also 15, I suppose.
BnBRool: And so forth.
BlockerMelon34: Logic stands to reason.
BnBRool: Now there's a man who knows how to construct a complete sentence without once mentioning his bowels.
BnBRool: Not the kind of team player we need around Studio 8, I'm afraid.
BnBRool: I've been waiting for my poopoo joke for nigh near 4 minutes here, dear boy.
BlockerMelon34: ...............
BlockerMelon34: *Squinting*
BlockerMelon34: *Straining in effort*
BnBRool: Are those tiny dots supposed to represent diarrhea?
BlockerMelon34: Yes. Yes they are.
BnBRool: Fantastico!
BnBRool: OK, kid, you're in.
BnBRool: Your first assignment will be to infiltrate the Onion's New York office and replace their article archives with the archives of Studio8.net.
BlockerMelon34: .........Oh hell.......
BnBRool: But before you go....
BnBRool: I'd like to know the names of 5 other humorous websites that you frequent on a...frequent...basis.
BlockerMelon34: Newgrounds....Fark.......etc.... I can't really think of them right now....because I am very happy.
BnBRool: Why are you so damn happy all of the time?
BlockerMelon34: Well anyone who got to talk to a member of the Studio 8 crew should be happy.
BnBRool: These above sites are rather worthless in comparison to Studio8.net.
BnBRool: We are not an elusive bunch.
BnBRool: Actually, currently we are.
BlockerMelon34: Studio8.net > Everything I have found to date.
BnBRool: But a child such as you should not be worried with such things.
BnBRool: I must speak to your parents.
BnBRool: They are raising a hellion.
BlockerMelon34: I haven't seen my mother in 10 years.
BlockerMelon34: I can't do that....sorry.
BlockerMelon34: My Dad's off....doing something.... I dunno.
BnBRool: I'm sorry...Did I ask for a sob story?
BnBRool: Did I inquire about your inconsequential family history?
BlockerMelon34: No you did not.
BnBRool: I have memory lapses. Please help me.
BlockerMelon34: For this I shall beat myself.
BlockerMelon34: With poop.
BnBRool: Now you're being churlish.
BnBRool: Spell that.
BnBRool: Smarty pants.
BnBRool: Your word is "CHURLISH".
BlockerMelon34: Churlish?
BnBRool: Yes, but please do not answer in the form of a question.
BlockerMelon34: I shan't again, captain.
BnBRool: Now let's get down to brass tacks.
BnBRool: Where do you live?
BlockerMelon34: Ohio.
BnBRool: And people write up there?
BnBRool: People such as yourself?
BlockerMelon34: I do... dunno about them.
BnBRool: How about reading? Any of that going on in Ohio?
BlockerMelon34: Lol, I've got a College Reading Level.
BlockerMelon34: They can't even test me in that area in school.
BlockerMelon34: (The one I'm in, anyway.)
BlockerMelon34: I'm originally from Phoenix, Arizona.
BlockerMelon34: That's why I am different from your average Ohio.....type...person.
BnBRool: Are you aware that aside from our enemies at The Onion, Studio 8 has acquired an impressive and depressing array of other enemies spanning across the entire world of the internet?
BnBRool: Which makes us rather distrustful of people such as yourself.
BnBRool: Your wild globe-trotting background doesn't help anything, either.
BnBRool: I smell a rat!
BlockerMelon34: That....could be the one right there. *points to a rat*
BnBRool: You change the subject about as often as I change my child's undergarments.
BnBRool: Now back to these brass tacks...
BnBRool: Do you know any reputable distributors of brass tacks that wouldn't mind conducting business with an organization that has deep ties to the Kremlin?
BnBRool: Not that we have ties to the Kremlin...
BlockerMelon34: Try Office Max......they've got a lot of Brass Tacks.....and other assorted office supplies.
BnBRool: Look at you, my little salesman.
BnBRool: Barely out of his mother's britches and already he's selling office supplies to kind businesmen with fattened wallets...
BnBRool: I am waxing wistful again, aren't I?
BlockerMelon34: Perhaps...
BlockerMelon34: Maybe....maybe not.
BnBRool: What would you like to compose for Studio8.net?
BnBRool: Based on what you've seen?
BlockerMelon34: Hmmm....
BlockerMelon34: Well, I can write articles...I'm good at art.....
BlockerMelon34: I can do Picture Stories.
BlockerMelon34: If needed.
BnBRool: There's no art in articles.
BnBRool: Except in the spelling.
BnBRool: How could you do Picture Stories if you live in Ohio?
BnBRool: Studio 8 is run out of Los Angeles.
BnBRool: Which is not in Ohio.
BnBRool: For all of you math majors out there.
BlockerMelon34: Well, I mean they wouldn't feature the main people of Studio 8.
BlockerMelon34: But I could probably come up with something.
BnBRool: <Shitting in my chair.>
BnBRool: What kind of drivel are you spouting, my dear simpleton?
BlockerMelon34: I am merely listing my current talents. Writing, and Art.
BnBRool: You can't just apply to be a writer and then expect to publish Picture Stories!
BnBRool: I am having to swallow my own vomit right now.
BnBRool: And it's your fault.
BlockerMelon34: I apologize for any confusion.
BnBRool: You are the worst employee Studio 8 has ever not employed.
BlockerMelon34: Do I need to punish myself for your amusement?
BnBRool: No (wink, wink), you shall be punished in other ways in the near future.
BlockerMelon34: I see.
BlockerMelon34: But my application is for Writing.
BnBRool: I should hope that you can see because Studio 8 is not written for blind people.
BnBRool: HTML doesn't translate well into braille.
BlockerMelon34: Nope........you just can't feel tags....and headings....and bodies....
BnBRool: So you do know someting about HTML...
BnBRool: My fishing for lies is working.
BlockerMelon34: I know of it... I tried learning it once.
BnBRool: I thought you were an honest child.
BlockerMelon34: I said I don't know it, and I don't.
BlockerMelon34: I only know of it.
BnBRool: Ah, similar to how I know of Chinese people, yet I have never touched a Chinese person's genitalia.
BlockerMelon34: Indeed, you are correct, much like the morning poo...of a Rhino.
BnBRool: Can we stray from bestiality, please?
BnBRool: I'm trying to run a site for children 14 and under.
BlockerMelon34: Lol, okay.
BnBRool: You may feel free to spell okay as "OK" in my presence.
BnBRool: I know that might remind you of your state's rival state, Oklahoma, but it's easier on my eyes.
BlockerMelon34: *Bows* Thank you, m'lord.
BnBRool: And truly, it's les to read.
BlockerMelon34: It is.
BnBRool: And the less to read in my day, the better.
BlockerMelon34: I understand
BnBRool: Speaking of which...
BnBRool: Let's read some things from you.
BnBRool: Namely - ARTicles
BnBRool: Some articles with art in them.
BlockerMelon34: I've not gotten anything ready..........
BnBRool: So somebody came to the party without bringing any presents.
BnBRool: And yes, I said "presentS" - plural.
BnBRool: I expect multiple gifts from multiple friends when I throw a party.
BlockerMelon34: No...rather I came to seek an invitation, or way into the party, so that I may have reason to get presents.
BnBRool: And I throw a party every night if I can.
BnBRool: You shall not get any presents from me!
BnBRool: Unless they are presents that you gave me that I don't want anymore.
BnBRool: And even then I expect a refund.
BlockerMelon34: Indeed, being the high and mighty being you are, you should be able to expect such treatment.
BnBRool: OKAY, to cut this little exercise short and get the brass tacks flowing again, I will tell you this:
BnBRool: You may submit any piece of writing that you wish.
BnBRool: However, since you are a child, I will hesitate to read it until you are of age.
BnBRool: Which means that in 4 years, you might have a shot.
BnBRool: If I haven't dissolved the company by then.
BnBRool: Or dissolved myself in a vat of acid.
BlockerMelon34: You have to watch out for the acid.
BnBRool: I don't need free advice from a lying toddler, thank you very much.
BnBRool: Are we clear here?
BlockerMelon34: I understand.
BnBRool: Not about that.
BnBRool: About the writing.
BlockerMelon34: Yes... I can send something in...and in 4 years you will read it.
BnBRool: In the coming days, I shall expect a work of art from you.
BnBRool: And then I shall read it
BnBRool: And you shall wait patiently.
BnBRool: And I shall deem it worthy or dumpy.
BnBRool: If it ends up being either, it may make its way onto our site.
BlockerMelon34: Ah. And I shall be...the new guy that's kinda half...kinda part of the company.
BlockerMelon34: If it makes it?
BnBRool: Negotiations shall not move one step further until I have read something from your loins.
BnBRool: You've read plenty from mine.
BlockerMelon34: Then something shall come from there! ^o^
BnBRool: Thus, it will only be fair.
BnBRool: All right, he of little brains and even fewer years, I am retiring to bed for the morning.
BlockerMelon34: And... I shall write...
BnBRool: I shall add your filthy name to my List of Buddies and I will forget all about you until you pester me again.
BlockerMelon34: Oh thank you for the oppurtunity. *Bows to the great Lord that is You*
BnBRool: *Curtsies and breaks wind*
BnBRool: Later to it.
BlockerMelon34: Sleep well.

<Stay tuned for Part 2 of this convo right here or nearby!>

This convo written by Brock.
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