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A Couple of Party Animals -
Part 2
Round 2 of our chats with the
ULTIMATE PARTYING DUDE! There's nothing better in life than reminiscing about
fake memories of days long since passed with old online friends like this guy. We got a few good convos out of him.
We are "JonBonJared."
JonBonJared:
yo dude!
Auto response from F8al Bullets34:
Hi, JonBonJared, I'm
probably watching TV or eating, so give me a minute to answer,
otherwise, I'll get back to you asap. Thanks, BJ. 10:25:46 AM
F8al Bullets34:
Hey, Jared, what'
s happening?
JonBonJared:
not much
JonBonJared:
just rocking out in the free world
F8al Bullets34:
Yea, same here.
Just watching the Atlanta Braves and the LA Dodgers, but still early in
the game, and not much action. Trying to see if that Jap pitcher Hideo
Nomo still has any heat on the ball!
JonBonJared:
i bet he has "Nomo" heat!
JonBonJared:
i know i do though
F8al Bullets34:
Ur right! Think
he's 0 wins for 17 games so far this year, so yep, think he's over the
hill! LOL
JonBonJared:
so watcha been up to man..i havent talked to you in a long ass time
F8al Bullets34:
I know. I've been
just chattin on here with anybody who wants to talk, but a lot of wierd
guys, and too many who can't type for shit! I hate that, cuz it takes
forever to have a convo!
JonBonJared:
f'ing right
JonBonJared:
one time i had a convo with some dude up in ole GA i think
JonBonJared:
or was it Alabama..shit i dont know
F8al Bullets34:
Hey, Jared, where
did you say you were? I'm in Cincinnati, but darn, I talk to so many
people, can't keep track of everybody. Sounds like ur feeling pretty
good, so guess maybe you've a few brewskis or a joint or two. LOL.
JonBonJared:
i'm from the south baby
JonBonJared:
louisiana
JonBonJared:
we let the good times roll down here!
F8al Bullets34:
Yea, I know. Ok,
I got you confused with some guy named Andrew who lives in Lousiana,
and thought maybe you were somewhere else. Yea, I agree, I try to let
the good times roll, whenever I can get away with it! LOL.
F8al Bullets34:
Trouble is, I
live in an apartment full of straight, old people, and have to be
careful about lighting up a doobie!
JonBonJared:
if you can get away with it....let it get away with YOU...thats what i
always say
F8al Bullets34:
Yea, now that's a
phiosophy I can live with! LOL. Course, I love being wasted, and then
talking on here, and seeing how much fun I can have!
F8al Bullets34:
philosophy*
JonBonJared:
now you talking my language..and i dont mean cajun!
JonBonJared:
i have had many convos with dudes after a night of partying
F8al Bullets34:
Oh, gee, you
speak Cajun too? Oh, gee, better brush up on my French, but took that
back in high school, and usually just saying Je parle just an peu la
lange de Francais.
JonBonJared:
if i werent so wasted i might know what that meant
JonBonJared:
I PROMISE!
F8al Bullets34:
Yea, that's the
only way to really enjoy chatting on here, dude! It means " I speak
only a little of the French language". LOL
JonBonJared:
f'ing right it does man!
JonBonJared:
f'ing right
F8al Bullets34:
Funny to think
that Cajuns are originally from French speaking Acadia, which means,
Cajuns originally came from Canada. Not many people know that.
JonBonJared:
funny to think that i just dropped some cheez-its down my underwear,
and i'm not even gonna dig them out
JonBonJared:
hows the game?
F8al Bullets34:
I wouldn't
either, until I was so wasted, I was on my last cheese-it, and then who
know's what I would eat! LOL. Game is tied 1-1. It's boring.
JonBonJared:
eat it?!
JonBonJared:
thats rock n roll baby!!
F8al Bullets34:
Hey, now ur
talking my language! It's only rock n roll, but I like it! Can't stand
rap or hip hop, cuz just grew up on good old rock n roll.
JonBonJared:
thats the only way to do it man
JonBonJared:
gotta live your life the only way you know how
F8al Bullets34:
Sweet Home
Alabama. Course, my favorite southern state is Georgia, and if I could
move anywhere, think I would buy an old house in Valdosta, Georgia.
Yep, ur right, cuz you only go around once, dude.
JonBonJared:
and my way is partying like theres no tomorrow
JonBonJared:
georgia is beautiful man
F8al Bullets34:
Oh, yea,
absolutely! Gee, if we could only stay stoned all the time!
JonBonJared:
i think i am doing that as we speak dude!
F8al Bullets34:
Yea, I used to
work down in Valdosta, and also in Dalton, Ga. and in northern Fla. I
used to work for an oil company here in Cincy, and we owned a bunch of
truck stops down south, and I was the auditor (the guy who took the
inventory at the truckstops), so spent usually a couple of weeks at a
time working at these truck stops, and when I was off work, used to
drive all over the south. It was great!
JonBonJared:
sounds like the american dream to me
JonBonJared:
whats your favorite party drink man
JonBonJared:
if you dont mind me asking
F8al Bullets34:
Well, to tell you
the truth, I have to take Percocet for pain, from some surgeries, so
I'm not supposed to drink any alchohol, cuz then I just pass out!
JonBonJared:
aww dude
JonBonJared:
that isnt right
JonBonJared:
you must of partied many parties to have surgeries done
F8al Bullets34:
Yep, it sucks.
Just a few beers or one mixed drink, and I pass out! It was funny the
first time it happened, cuz I was in a bar with some freinds, and I
asked for a 7-7, and was taking my pain pills, and after a while, I
woke up, and found out I had passed out for an hour and a half, and
nobody bothered to wake me up!
JonBonJared:
shit man
JonBonJared:
you think they did anything to you while you were passed out?
JonBonJared:
shit i would
F8al Bullets34:
Yep, right on the
bar, I was crashed out for way over an hour, but since people knew me,
they just let me sleep! Glad my friends were with me! They knew I was
ok, but guess I was just really tired.
F8al Bullets34:
Cousre, if you
mix narcotics and booze, you're going to really crash, and it's hard to
avoid!
JonBonJared:
i feel ya on that
F8al Bullets34:
So that's why I
only drink soda pop or iced tea now, cuz just don't want to take the
chance of driving and being that stoned!
F8al Bullets34:
Course, a few
pain pills and a joint will put you in heaven, dude!
JonBonJared:
yes!
F8al Bullets34:
And if the cops
stop you, you can just show them ur medicine bottle, and they can't do
anything about it, unless they do a piss test for pot, but they never
do.
F8al Bullets34:
When I stoned, I
can always act as straight as a fucking preacher!
JonBonJared:
shit down here if you show the cops your medicine bottle they will open
it up and swallow that thing and party with you!
F8al Bullets34:
That's what I
like about pot, is that you can sober up when you need to, but when ur
drunk, you can't! LOL. Yea, well, if those jerks try to take away my
medicine, they're going to catch shit, cuz I need that stuff!
JonBonJared:
do you think you can get stoned in heaven?
F8al Bullets34:
Oh, damn, I hope
so, but trouble is, nobody knows if there is a heaven! I don't know
anybody who's been there, and come back to tell us how great it is!
JonBonJared:
why would they if you can spend all day getting stoned up there!!!
F8al Bullets34:
So to me, the
closest thing I've been to heaven is a big shot of Morphine in the
butt, and that sure makes you feel like you're in heaven! Yea, if I
could feel that way all the time, I wouldn't want to come back either!
JonBonJared:
i got my buddy to give my a shot of morphine once...but he did it one
day at work when i wasnt looking
JonBonJared:
i was fucked up the whole f'ing day man
F8al Bullets34:
OH, shit, that's
not the time to get stoned on morphine, man! You want to do that shit
when you can just lay around and listen to Bob Dylan singing "Sweet
Sister Morphine", or was that the Rolling Stones? Can't remember for
some reason! LOL
JonBonJared:
slow ride, take it easy
JonBonJared:
thats what i say to myself to stay calm
F8al Bullets34:
Yea, now ur
talking. Stones, definitely. Man, those dudes have made a ton of great
music!
F8al Bullets34:
Wish I could
still jump around on a stage when I was almost 60 years old, like Mic
Jagger! Man, those guys have lived great lives!\
F8al Bullets34:
Sex, drugs, and
rock n roll their whole fucking lives, and they're still jammin!
JonBonJared:
you just got me in the mood
JonBonJared:
for sex drugs and rock n roll!
F8al Bullets34:
Gee, I hope so!
Those are the ingredients for a good time, anytime! (except when ur
working, of course!). LOL
F8al Bullets34:
Well, now all we
have to do is find some hot sex! We've both got the other two things!
JonBonJared:
thats what i'm saying
F8al Bullets34:
I switched off
the game, and put on some of my favorite music--classic Rock n Roll. So
I'm ready for love, oh baby I'm ready for love!
F8al Bullets34:
Remember when you
had long hair, or do you still? Gee, I miss that! Used to have hair
down to my shoulders! I'm listening the the song "Hair" from the
musical Hair, by the Cowsills. Damn, that was a long time ago!
JonBonJared:
my hairs long
JonBonJared:
my ass hair that is
F8al Bullets34:
LOL. Yea, well,
we guys all have that problem. Did you ever have long hair, back in the
seventies or eighties?
JonBonJared:
f'ing right i did
JonBonJared:
long rocking hair
JonBonJared:
like lynyrd skynyrd
F8al Bullets34:
Yea, nowadays, if
you have long hair, like we did back then, people think you're some
long-lost hippie! LOL. Yea, I loved having long hair, but it's just out
of style now! Damn shame, unless ur a rock star......
JonBonJared:
there aint no rock stars now like they used to be
JonBonJared:
no zeppelins, no stones, no ac/dc
JonBonJared:
this is depressing me..i need another shot
F8al Bullets34:
Yea, you've got
that right! All these kids now are a bunch of rap wanna-be's, but they
never knew what it was like to have long hair, and be stoned all the
time! Gee, they don't know what they're missing. Yea, we were talking
about AC/DC last time we talked. Hells Bells!
JonBonJared:
highway to hell baby!
JonBonJared:
now i'm pumped up..i need another shot!
F8al Bullets34:
I've been on the
Highway to Hell my whole life, dude! And it's been great! Go for it,
and have one for me!
F8al Bullets34:
What's ur poison?
Jack Daniels?
JonBonJared:
anything i can get my hands on, but tonight its jack
JonBonJared:
im going jack and i aint coming back
F8al Bullets34:
Cool. Yea, as
long as it's got aschohol in it, it will do the job, couse I used to do
hits of pure grain alchohol, that stuff that's 190 proof white
lightning! Man, that shit will knock you on ur ass!
JonBonJared:
man i wish we could party!
F8al Bullets34:
Yea, so do I!
That's a party that would go on for at least a week, dude!
JonBonJared:
i'm there!
JonBonJared:
but first i need another shot!
JonBonJared:
yeah baby!
F8al Bullets34:
Jared, how old ru
? And don't worry, there's no such thing as too old, as long as you can
still party!
JonBonJared:
i'm 43 years YOUNG!
F8al Bullets34:
Great, cuz I'm
52. Was wounded in Nam, and that's why I have to take pain pills. And
also where I first got really high, cuz man, the weed they had over
there was absofuckinglutely fantastic!
JonBonJared:
i can imagine that shit!
JonBonJared:
thanks for Nam man! thats f'ing great
F8al Bullets34:
Yep, was in the
Signal Corps, and was working on an antenna on a firebase, and it got a
typical harrasement atttack from the North Vietnamese, and I got hit
with a piece of shrapnel from an RPG in the gut, and that fucked me up!
Had 13 operations, but sure saw a lot of shit!
F8al Bullets34:
Hey, I went cuz I
got drafted, cuz I was in college in electronics engineering, but
didn't like it cuz they didn't have personal computers yet, so decided
to drop my courses, and change my major to business, but didn't know
the Army considered that dropping out, and got my ass drafted, but when
they found out I was a Ham Radio Operator, and already knew Morse Code,
they shipped me off to the Nam right away, cuz it was 1969, and Nixon
was already pulling troops out, so they needed more guys who could send
morse code! I got fucked!
JonBonJared:
thats a fucking great story man
F8al Bullets34:
Was only there
from Feb. to June, 1969, and was 19, so only four months, but I saw
enough shit to last a lifetime! Was glad to get out of that place!
JonBonJared:
i can imgaine
JonBonJared:
damn i need another shot
JonBonJared:
thats number 9
F8al Bullets34:
Yea, man, ur
making me jealous, cuz I should really get some booze, and when I'm in
pain, just take a pain pill, and zone out! But then I'd be too wasted
to talk on here! Fuck, how much can you drink??? I would be under the
table by now, if we were drinking together! LOL
JonBonJared:
its hitting me hard man....i think i feel a black out coming!
JonBonJared:
i always drink till i pass out
JonBonJared:
either pass out, or pass that shit down...thats what i always say
F8al Bullets34:
Yea, I guess so,
unless you weigh about 250 lbs, cuz no average guy can hold that much
and stay awake! Yea, I'd say ur about three sheets to the wind, dude!
One more shot, and ur gone, buddy!
<Half an hour later...>
F8al Bullets34:
Yo, Jared , dude,
when you wake up, just wanted to say bye for now, cuz think if you just
drank that tenth shot of J.D., ur wasted! So give me a shout again when
u want to bs, and I'll be here. That's the only good thing about being
a disabled vet, is all the time you have to play around with
electronics and computers! So later, Jared! Sleep well, my freind......
See what this guy looks like
here!
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